The angry, scowling faces and sudden explosive anger of a teenager can be hard to deal with. As parents, what tools do we need to help our teenagers learn to control their emotions? The "Family Education" website describes it best by using a balloon as an example. Picture a balloon as it slowly fills with air. Eventually, the balloon fills up too full and pops. Anger works in a similar way. It can slowly build until eventually, the person explodes. The website explains that parents need to stop this cycle before the "angry balloon" bursts.
How do we do that? The best way to deal with anger is to release the "air" as it builds up. Work with your teen to learn the best way for them to release the anger before it becomes a problem.
It is important to teach your teen how to express their feelings as soon as they surface. Some of the ways parents can reduce the amount of "air" in the "balloon" are:
- Encourage appropriate communication- encourage them to talk about angry or negative feelings. This will teach them to let out the "air" instead of keeping it inside until it bursts.
- Avoid negative attention-pay more attention to the things they are doing right. Stay away from verbal punishment, like yelling and criticism.
- Don't react to passive-aggressive behavior- This means when your teen mumbles under their breath because they don't want to clean the kitchen, (and they all do it) ignore them. Yelling or scolding them for releasing "air", will build up more "air."
- Avoid random discipline-random discipline is "setting a rule and wait for the adolescent to break it before they decide upon a consequence." Avoid this by creating a rule and a consequence at the same time. This way, they know the consequence before they ever break the crime.
- Stay out of the power struggle- "You better do what I said, or else!" is an invitation for a power struggle. Instead, pick your battles, set rules and follow through with the consequence. This way, if you tell them to clean the kitchen, and they don't want to, don't yell back and forth, just have a punishment for the crime beforehand and enforce it if the teen doesn't do it.
For more information and tips on dealing with anger go to:
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