Too Old to Wet the Bed?

I was disturbed by a blog I read on the Internet about adult bed wetting. I was disturbed because my teenager still wets the bed, and I am worried that this may affect him into his adulthood. Like any other difficulty my child may have to face, I feel the need to make his life as easy as possible. I want the best for him, but sometimes it's out of my control.

So off I went in search of the answer that would prevent my child from having to overcome a difficult issue in his life. Never once, did I think that it may not be the end of the world if my children were not perfect and have the happy fairytale life I want for them.

This man, Eric, writing on the blog about adult bed wetting describes all the things I fear most for my son; lack of self-esteem, embarrassing situations and isolation. As I read this, he says something that made me stop:
"My inability to be dry at night has no bearing on my manhood or anything else about me as a person - it's just how I'm made, " he writes.

Somehow, this gave me some comfort. Knowing that if this man could except this, then maybe my son could too.

Just realizing this made me aware that it may not be the worst thing that could happen. Maybe my son will have to overcome something that isn't perfect about himself, but who hasn't done this and become a better person for it?
I did find out that, as a parent, there are things that I can do to help my son come to terms with bed wetting on his own. Also things I can do to prevent further destruction of his precious self-esteem.

First I wanted to know why my son wets the bed, teenshealth.com gave me causes for "nocturnal enuresis" or bed wetting.

• Hormonal problems: the body does not make enough antiduretic hormone which causes the body to produce less urine at night while we sleep.
• Bladder problems: too many muscle spasms making it more difficult to hold urine or undersized bladders.
• Genetics: it is common for a child of a bed wetting parent to also wet the bed.
• Sleep problems: a child that sleeps deeply may not wake up when they need to go to the bathroom.
• Psychological problems: some children that are under stress or have sudden changes in their life may wet the bed.
• ADHD: bed wetting is often seen accompanied with ADHD children.

A few tips from About.com:Teens:

• Never punish your preteen for wetting the bed.
• If you were a bed wetter, share your experiences with your preteen.
• Keep this between your preteen and yourself. Sharing this problem with other family members or friends will only serve to embarrass your preteen.
• Find positive things to focus your conversations on. Don't let the only communication you have with your preteen be about bed wetting.

The most important thing I have learned is to preserve my son's self-esteem as much as possible by never saying anything negative about his condition. I make sure to let him know, that I love him even if he wets the bed. I accept this about him, so maybe he will accept it too.

To read Eric's story about adult bed wetting go to
http://www.wetbuster.com/Stories/eric.htm
For more information on teen bed wetting go to
http://parentingteens.about.com/cs/preteens/a/bedwetting.htm
http://kidshealth.org/teen/diseases_conditions/urinary/enuresis.html

Teen Drivers

My son is turning 15-years-old soon. The big question is, should I let him drive?

I am worried because I see a car as a potential weapon. They can be dangerous if put in the wrong hands.

Car accidents are the number one cause of death among teens, according to the National Transportation Safety Board. Many of these deaths involve a cell phone.

Driving is important for my son, he wants the independence it will bring, but I need to make sure that he is safe. That is my job as his mother.

So what is my answer? I found a website, teendriving.com, that gave good information on the whole process of getting a drivers liscense, inclusing things parents can do to keep their teens safe on the road.

• Education: Teach them about road safety. Talk to them about the dangers of driving aggressively. Make sure they understand the rules of the road.


• A driving contract. Give the teen written expectations, including consequences for disobeying those expectations. For example, make rules about the cell phone while driving. The website also advises that teens not be allowed to drive with friends or siblings in the car. Put these rules into the driving contract and include consequences for disobeying them.


• Car care: It is important theat the car is running affectively in order to be safe. This includes, oil changes, water maintenance, engine maintenance, clutter inside the car, and tires.

Teenagers having a driver's liscense can be a big relief to the parents. The parents often begin to feel like a taxicab, but it is important to make sure the teen is mature enough to handle the responsibility of driving. It isn't only their life they are putting in danger if they don't obey the rules of the road. Parent's should be sure their teen is ready to take on that responsibility before letting their teen drive, according to teendriving.com.

For more tips on Teen driving go to: http://http//www.teendriving.com/

Like my Hair?

My 14-year-old son wants to wear his hair long. He wants to go to the movies by himself with his friends. He wants to pick out his own clothes and they are horrible. Should I let him?

When he was little, I picked out his clothes and took him for a haircut. I even told the hairdresser how to cut it. When we went to the movies, I picked the movie and I was always with him. Lately however, he doesn't want my opinion while shopping for clothes. He doesn't even want me in the salon when he goes for a haircut (if you can call it a haircut). His hair is past his shoulders and it hangs in his face. I try to tell him it covers his beautiful eyes, but he get angry.

What I wanted to know was, how much freedom should I give my son? How far should I let his self-expression and independence outweigh my own personal opinion?

I found out that by inviting teens to make decisions on their own creates a more cooperative teenager, according to Teenhelp.com. And who doesn't need more of that? The important thing is to set your boundaries early. The best way to have a rule-abiding teen is to let them have some say in what those boundaries are. Talk with them about what their wishes are and compromise on your own wishes.

The teen years are an important time to develop values and beliefs. No matter how much we may dislike it, their beliefs will not always be the same as ours (the parents). It is important that teens feel trusted by their parents, and they achieve this by being given the freedom to make choices.

I think the most important thing when allowing teens to be independent is considering their safety. Also that it doesn't disturb others.

My rule is, if they wont kick you out of school, the you can die your hair green.
My son can go to the movies alone, but if he disrupts others, he wont go again.
I try to be careful not to let him go overboard, but as long as I know he wont be hurt, I let him know I trust him and he loves his new freedom. He has been very receptive to the expectations and wants me to continue trusting him, so he is careful not to let me down.

What I have, after I finally let go, is a more compliant and confident teen.

To learn more about this topic got to:

http://www.familiesonlinemagazine.com/teenhealth2.html

http://http//life.familyeducation.com/teen/parenting/48430.html