I found out my son had his first girlfriend the day she broke his heart. His beautiful blue eyes were filled with tears as he told me how his sweetheart wanted to be with someone else. Even worse, the person she wanted to "go out" with was his best friend. I was lost. I had no idea what to say to him.
I knew that any girl he dated while in middle school would never be someone he would live happily ever after with, but I knew I couldn't say that to him. As hurt as he was, it just didn't seem appropriate to tell him all about puppy love. His heartbreak was real, even if the love wasn't.
I was lost and searching for answers when I learned that teen relationships need to be taken seriously. Even puppy love can have harmful effects.
“Some relationships may seem so intense and so necessary that teenagers harm themselves when the relationship ends,” says Norma Clarke, MD, a child psychiatrist at the Menninger Clinic.
What I wanted to know was what to say to my son after his break-up. Christine Langlois, Canadianliving.com, gave some advice on how to handle a broken hearted teen.
- Don't trivialize your teen's pain. Saying it is only puppy love will not make them feel better.
- Let them know they are still lovable. Communicate this by words or actions.
- Don't make observations about how bad the relationship was.
- Be supportive and available.
What I realized was, that maybe my son didn't want me to say anything. He just wanted me to listen and be there for him. So I made his favorite dinner and made him laugh. Later I made sure he knew that all girls were not going to leave him for his friend and encouraged him to date again.
For more advice on parenting break-ups go to
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